Thank You For Being a Friend

Wow! I'm officially one year older. A grand ole age of 32. Yesterday went a lot better than I expected. I truly feel loved. For every person that called, text, emailed, facebooked, tweeted or told me "Happy Birthday" in person, I thank you from the bottom of my heart because you didn't have to do it. I don't take birthdays lightly as there are so many people that are 6 feet under that will never get a chance to celebrate their birthday on this side of life.

What made this birthday even more so special was that 32 years ago, my birth mother made the (what I deemed to be) the difficult decision to give me up for adoption. Just a little background info, my birth mother was a 22-year-old graduate student from an affluent family and my father was a 24-year-old carpenter. She knew that she couldn't take care of me, so her parents encouraged her to make the decision to give me up for adoption. I couldn't imagine what it feels like to carry someone inside of you for 9-10 months, give birth to them, then right after the baby takes its first breath, they are whisked away from you so that you won't become attached and change your mind. I often wonder how that made her feel. I've seen a few episodes of "16 & Pregnant" that showed this very scenario and I was crying like a baby. I was at the Edna Gladney Foster Home for a very short time, then I stayed with my foster parents, who happend to be white, until my parents, Madelyn and Travis, were able to get me at 2 months. Ironically, my momma, Madelyn, was 32 years old when they became my parents. And thus, I became Kristyn Eunecia Hunt on that day in May of 1979.

I often think about how my life would be if I were still with my biological parents. Would I have had a great life like the one I have now or would I have been brought up in a life of struggle? What about brothers and sisters? Extended family? I wonder if they think about me each year as my birthday passes or have they forgotten that I even existed? I was raised as any only child, so I don't think I really miss having siblings because my friends have become my family. But I do wonder if I've ever passed my biological family during my many travels around the U.S. and if I should take the initiative to try and locate my birth mother once again. I'm still not 100% sure of what I'm going to do but what I do know is that I can no longer be angry at her for her decision because had she not made that decision, I wouldn't be here today. I wouldn't have been afforded these wonderful opportunities and have met these great people that have impacted my life both positively and negatively. So if she is out there, I'd like to tell her thank you for making the decision to see her pregnancy through to the end and having the courage to let me go so that I could grow to be a better person. Hopefully one day I'll get the chance to tell her just that face-to-face.

Lessons I've Learned

I'm turning 32 tomorrow. Before I start, let me first say "Thank God" because I could easily be 6 feet under, pushing daisies. But the older I get, I realize that I'll be eventually getting to that place where I'll have more behind me then in front of me and to be honest with you, it scares me. It scares me because I realize how much of my life I have lived. I mean, I think I'm pretty well off for an almost 32 year old in less than 24 hours, but I want more. Not so much in the greedy way, though all of us could do with more cash, but more so more depth to my life. Do you know what I mean? I've been working more than one job since I began working professionally almost 7 years ago and it seems as if that's all I do. Again, I'm not complaining but because I work so much, I often feel as if I'm missing out on something. I wonder if I wasn't working so much would I have time to date? But the reality of it all is that the pickings are slim and I work to keep myself from getting bored. Is that an oxymoron? But as I work myself into a frenzy, I'm not only hurting myself health wise (I've been sick at least twice this year and it's only March) but I often think I'm hurting myself personally because I'm not really living, but existing. Sure, I travel. An occasional trip out of town coupled with the monthly visits to Houston but I want MORE!! I desire more living in my life. I enjoy spending time with my friends, but let's face it, how many single friends will I have at the age of 32? Most of them are married, shacking, have kids, and don't really have time for the girl's trips, which is totally understandable. I don't knock their hustle at all. But before I get left behind (another post for another day) I think I better start reevaluating what's important in my life. I know why I have to grind so hard but I think I'm going to have to find another way to channel my energy. I want to live to see another 32 years and at this pace, it likely, but it's going to be tough.