Lessons I've Learned

I'm turning 32 tomorrow. Before I start, let me first say "Thank God" because I could easily be 6 feet under, pushing daisies. But the older I get, I realize that I'll be eventually getting to that place where I'll have more behind me then in front of me and to be honest with you, it scares me. It scares me because I realize how much of my life I have lived. I mean, I think I'm pretty well off for an almost 32 year old in less than 24 hours, but I want more. Not so much in the greedy way, though all of us could do with more cash, but more so more depth to my life. Do you know what I mean? I've been working more than one job since I began working professionally almost 7 years ago and it seems as if that's all I do. Again, I'm not complaining but because I work so much, I often feel as if I'm missing out on something. I wonder if I wasn't working so much would I have time to date? But the reality of it all is that the pickings are slim and I work to keep myself from getting bored. Is that an oxymoron? But as I work myself into a frenzy, I'm not only hurting myself health wise (I've been sick at least twice this year and it's only March) but I often think I'm hurting myself personally because I'm not really living, but existing. Sure, I travel. An occasional trip out of town coupled with the monthly visits to Houston but I want MORE!! I desire more living in my life. I enjoy spending time with my friends, but let's face it, how many single friends will I have at the age of 32? Most of them are married, shacking, have kids, and don't really have time for the girl's trips, which is totally understandable. I don't knock their hustle at all. But before I get left behind (another post for another day) I think I better start reevaluating what's important in my life. I know why I have to grind so hard but I think I'm going to have to find another way to channel my energy. I want to live to see another 32 years and at this pace, it likely, but it's going to be tough.